For me it's a little different. This is the time of year I am swarmed with all the memories of heart break! What kind of heart break?! The kind that leave you feeling stupid, lonely, desperate, and feeling like there is no where else to go!
SIX years ago this week I thought I was embarking on what would be the happiest time of my life. I got engaged! I was going to get married! There was no turning back! But... then life hit me hard and reality for sure hit me harder! I KNEW that I couldn't go through with a LIE! A relationship that was never truly real. My family pleaded with me to reconsider my decision. I could see in my mothers eye the pain of watching her daughter make the biggest mistake of her life! After a short conversation with my mom walking out of church one day, I knew that life was going to never be the same. She used some very simple words, but words I needed to hear!
So that night I ended it! It truly was the most important and hard decision I ever made. I feel the effects of that relationship constantly. I often wonder if I had never met him or gone out with him, where my life would be?
I closed myself off for years and didn't allow anyone into my life. Did I pass someone up that would have been right for me?
Would I be the person I am today?
I feel like I have "healed" from this... but the "scars" are still there as a reminder to me! I know that I have somoene special out there! I have been promised that! I just don't know if i will ever be able to completely loose the scars until I do! Breaking up with Tom was the best thing I have ever done for myself!
There is a whole world out there and I am staring out into the ocean ready and willing to bring anything on that comes my way!
5 comments:
Oh my goodness Suz! That same thing happened to me. It is so hard. But please don't hold on those feelings so strongly. I know for sure you will find the right guy. He will be sweet and fun and so good for you. I know how hard it is to let go of a hurt that goes so deep, but you won't be able to completely give your heart to someone else if you don't. I know you know all of this, but it's good to get a reminder. I love you!!
I love you sweetheart!
Breaking off that engagement was probably one of the best decisions you ever made. He was SO not the right one. You are gorgeous, inside and out, and I know you will find Mr. Right one day. (hopefully soon! ;)) The scars will heal. xoxo
Wow Suzie! I am speechless. You are so incredible and amazing! I just love you so much. Seriously speechless.
Keep the faith Suzie! You area an amazing and beautiful woman who WILL find happiness!! Love you tons!
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