I've just have to...

I just have to say it...

I try and keep this in my small circle of trusted people to vent to...

but sometimes you just have to let it out.

NO -I'm not depressed

NO- I'm not bitter

No-I'm not a whiny person.

YES- I have a great life filled with amazing people...

AND YES- I'm happy for everyone who is married and has beautiful kids.

But...

Continue reading if you feel so inclined.

I'm just warning you it's not going to be pretty.

Sometimes being a single girl in Utah totally sucks!

Not just a single girl. But a single 30 something year old.

You get told/asked the stupidest things like:

Why aren't you married?

{If I knew I would tell you believe me.}

Don't worry, you're still young.

{Easy for you to say you are married with X amount of kids and possibly one on the way...you aren't going to be the oldest mom in your kids kindergarten class. You don't stress every day if you will be able to have kids without a huge risk because of your age. You don't worry that your eggs are dying.}

Why don't you put yourself out there more?

{Really, I mean seriously...how much more can you put yourself "out there" than you already do. And party after party gets old!}

How will you ever find someone if you don't attend a singles ward?

{When I attended the singles ward I didn't get asked out on ONE date. I have dated more while attending a family ward. I've never thought he was at a singles ward. Now I'm 6 months away from being kicked out. I'm the old one in the ward now.}

Why do you still keep in contact with him and him and him...?

{It's not like I'm entertaining the idea of dating them. But when they pay attention to you and you are alone why not? 

Ya know, you may never get married. Maybe you should plan for your future without a man.

{OUCH! This is probably the one that stings the most. I have taught YW lessons on temple marriages for years. I have been promised that I will have those blessings. I can't deny the feelings of faith I have. To me that is such a hard comment to swallow and hear.I have held a job for over 11 years. Made a career for myself. I can support myself. Why would that even be an issue?}

What if you came home from work everyday and made dinner for yourself. {Not your family.}

What if you always felt second best. Not because anyone has made you feel that way or tried. But it's just the facts because they all have husbands, wives and kids.

What if you were the only one not married in your family. Even with a 10 year gap in between you and your youngest sister. You look around the room while everyone is sitting next to their significant other and you are standing and sitting alone.

You go to bed every night with an empty spot next to you. A cold empty spot at that. No one to snuggle with. No one to tell about your day. No pillow talk.

This is my trial in life. I embrace it. I make the best of it. I date {I had 3 dates with 3 different guys since Thursday. I tell ya it's either feast of famine for me.} I have fun. I have a great family. I have great friends. I know how to laugh. I know how to enjoy life.

BUT...

Sometimes every girl just has to vent.