Dream...

*Some of you may not care to read this...but I blog for my future. My kids, my family.

And this is how I felt and I'm going to do it.* :)

I woke up last night in the middle of the night.

I had one of those dreams that seem so real.

But as soon as you open your eyes, you realize it was JUST a dream.

This time I woke up with disappointment.

I wanted it to be real.

I would have given anything for it to be real at that moment.

I laid in my bed and looked at the darkness.

Shed a few tears and said a prayer.

I prayed hard to my heavenly father for some comfort and peace.

I needed to know that everything was going to be okay.

And in the quite of the night and the darkness of my room, I felt a comfort that cant be described.

Almost as if I was being hugged.

And then the tears flowed and I KNEW that my father has a plan for me.

He knows specifically what is in store for me and what is best...

I wrote down my feelings so that I can share this touching experience with my children someday:

I had a dream about you last night. I held you in my arms. You looked at me and had the most beautiful face...I couldn't believe I was holding you. I had waited SO long. 

You were more beautiful than I could imagine.

You were mine.

I rocked you to sleep and you snuggled in close.

I sang to you and you closed you eyes.

But then...

I woke up and realized it was just a dream.

Sometimes I wonder if you watch me from above.

Please know this ...

When the time is right and it's time for you to come.

I will love you , cherish you, nurture you.

I will do the best I can...

But until then...

please know how much I love you.

I haven't met you and I know we don't know when I will.

But I already know how much I'll love you!